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The emptiness of it all... | markpaul's Blog


I called my Mom and Dad. My Mom told me there was going to be a memorial service for the neighbor and 45+ year friend of the family on Sunday who had died. "Do you want to come?" I didn't say anything. She said it's so sad and her kids want to remember her and find some closure. "Do you want to come?" I said I didn't know. "Well, you think about it and let me know. You knew her too, so it would make sense for you to be there. But, I don't want to force you into it. You can join in. What are you going to do, sit in the house by yourself while the rest of us are outside?" I didn't say anything. She said, "I'm not a happy camper." She asked, "when are you coming to visit? Are you coming this Saturday?" I told her I would be. She asked, "Do you want to see your brother? (he's visitng from out of state)" She continued, "I can't change anything, that's when they want to have the service. Do you want to come?" Raising my voice I said: "I told you I am coming Saturday and you keep asking me if I am coming?" She said, "Okay come. Everyone will be glad to see you, but I know you don't like it when too many people are around. I didn't say anything. She put my father on the phone and he wanted to know when I would be coming. I said, "Saturday." He said, there was going to be a memorial service for the neighbor on Sunday. "Why don't you come then." My mother was screaming in the background, "He's coming Saturday." My father said, "maybe you should come Sunday." My mother screamed, "He can't come Sunday; he's coming Saturday." I was about to say, maybe I could come Sunday. A voice in the background said, "the memorial service is going to be Saturday." My father said, well come on Saturday; we want to see you. My Dad handed the phone back to my mother. She didn't ask if I wanted to talk to my brother. I didn't ask; I didn't say much and she said she had to go prepare lunch. She said she loves me. I said, "Good-bye." The call ended. I feel empty.

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