Lately I have been noticing how people seem to be coupled, traveling in packs of friends. And, while my observations reveal a la yer of envy, I know I don't have the qualifications to sustain a friendship of any kind. Running behind, I don't have the social skills or the personal fortitude to relate to others on any type of sustainable personal level. So, I remain an outsider looking in at the interaction most people seem to desire and enjoy, secretly craving the same activity and attention they seem to trade naturally, but hyper-aware that activity is not intended for me. As I find myself running on empty I wonder if I am tricking myself into believing...
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I am incapable of friendships
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Friendships are not meant for me
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I am better off alone
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I enjoy being alone
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My purpose is to be alone
It's not that I am unhappy or dissatisfied. Not by a long-shot. But, if that's truly the case, I should not find myself running on empty. Right...?
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